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Rules of Self-Esteem

Can you think of the time when your best efforts were not appreciated by those around you? Or the time when people told you that you were wrong and stupid even though you weren’t?

More importantly, don’t you feel that if even one person had come during those moments of dejection and told you to bravely carry on, it would have prevented hours of doubt and self-pity?

As human beings, we all seek to be recognized for our efforts and sometimes need validation from others. Though it is natural to do so, you have to be careful not to let external circumstances rob you of your self-confidence and self-respect.

I have seen a lot of people begin to doubt themselves when they don’t get the kind of rewards or recognition from the world outside. They start taking others too seriously and slowly their self-esteem begins to take a hit. They begin to lower their standards and compromise on their originality just to seek approval from the people around them. 

Great men such as Emerson and Napoleon Hill have articulated their own versions of how to overcome adversity and have a high self-esteem. (You can find them here)

Life Mastery: 5 Long-lost Secrets from the Essays of Ralph Waldo Emerson
Napoleon Hill Success Principles: Two Sealed Envelopes

The way I deal with such situations is to have some rules which I follow during such adverse times. These rules enable me to stop letting other people control my feelings and thoughts and empower me to get back into the driver’s seat. I had not articulated these in a systematic manner before but I felt I should share it with you.

Here are my rules of Self-Esteem captured in this infographic (Click to enlarge)


Rules of Self-EsteemOver To You

You can have your own rules of self-esteem which get you back on track and encourage you to believe in yourself. So what are the things you draw inspiration from when you’re down and out?

Do share them with me!


Published in GetMotivated Life-Hacks


  1. Kamal Kumar

    Kamal Kumar

    Great One !

  2. Sridhar Rao

    Sridhar Rao

    Good one Nik!
    Need of the hour, for many around us!

  3. Sankeertana Singh

    Sankeertana Singh

    Nice read Nikshep !Thank you

    • Hi Sankeertana :) Hope you are doing great! Thanks for sharing your view, I’m glad you liked it!

  4. Yatin Khulbe

    Yatin Khulbe

    Lovely post Nikshep..I am in love with the seventh quote of Rumi.

    • It’s beautiful isn’t it? :) I love it too!

  5. Pratap


    Grt …Self Esteem .. Very nice to read

    • Thanks buddy :) Hope you enjoyed the infographic!

  6. Micah


    I absolutely love this post! This line in particular

    ‘They begin to lower their standards and compromise on their originality just to seek approval from the people around them’

    It’s a trap I think we all fall into the varying extents, but it robs us of the dignity and liberty to be ourselves and others of the value that comes from interacting with varied and authentic individuals.

    I never thought about having rules before but the more I think about it, the more I feel it’s important to have a robust means of maintaining one’s own integrity and self-esteem. Thanks for sharing.

    • Hi Micah,

      Welcome to Stumbleuponlife :) You are indeed right when you say it robs us of the dignity and liberty when we stop being individuals with high self-esteem!

      Thanks for sharing your views! Keep visiting!

  7. Anoop Gupta

    Anoop Gupta

    It always bothers me why i seek approval from others. This post of yours nicely articulates pain of people like me.

    • Anoop pain is natural indeed. But one should try and not let it scar the inner you :)

  8. Donna Merrill (@donna_tribe)

    Donna Merrill (@donna_tribe)

    Hi Nikshep,

    This is my first time on your blog and I do love it! I used to have such low self esteem when I was younger. I had to re-learn it all and it was a process. But it sure can be done.

    My best take-away here that I’m always going to remember is “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet” – Gandhi That quote is so powerful!

    Knowing our own mind is something we can work on. If doubt comes in, I immediately see it in my mind as a red flag. If I have trouble with it, I write down the pros and cons and that usually works for me.

    But, if words come from another person, I know that they are not waking in my shoes, so I smile, listen and not defend myself. Just let it roll of my shoulders.

    Thank you for this interesting post,


    • Donna it’s an honor to have you visit the blog :) you re absolutely right about the mind and it’s power to shield negativity or become a victim of it depends only on us!

      I also had such moments of doubt as you mentioned and that was one of the reasons for creating this :) thank you for your kind words and appreciation. Look forward to more such meaningful insights from u :)


  9. Vernon


    Hey Nik,

    Many people see more bad than good in themselves. They like to label life as all or nothing so if they see others as all and they don’t have the things they have, they default to seeing themselves as nothing.

    They develop their sense of self-perception by noticing how others people in their lives see them. That’s why we must learn to encourage ourselves that way when self doubt began to speak we have something to counter attack it.

    I salute you for another great post!

    • Bang on Vernon. The only thing to be careful is never to lose humility but also take care it never gets your self esteem low :) beautiful points you mention here Thank u!

  10. awazieikechi


    Seriously Nik you rock man

    I love your message and the rules of self esteem. When people make you feel bad and lose your sense of worth, you need to develop self confidence. Some people allow their circumstances to control them but if you can boost your self esteem, you can overcome any rejection.

    Thanks for sharing. Love your infograph and fill me in on how you created such resource.

    • Hi Ikechi :) there’s this site called piktochart which let’s you make infographics :) you should give it a shot! And I knew you would like this :) thanks for sharing ur views!

  11. Rohan Chaubey (@TechBluemoon)

    Rohan Chaubey (@TechBluemoon)

    Hi Niks,

    I think other blogs that revolve around tech, SEO and blogging might feel threatened by reading such posts for you. 😉

    I can relate to what you have written in the beginning of this post. Many times our efforts are not really recognized. I was recently feeling so low because I was robbed in a competition. This post gives me some light of hope.

    After having worked so hard and beyond capacities there are times when you are not acknowledged for your efforts.

    At that point we really need something positive. And this post gives some better rules to follow that would stop us from getting hurt.

    I loved what Gandhiji said. And the other quotes too were inspiring and strength giving.

    Loved this post, loved the infographics! Worth reading.

    Thanks for sharing. Bookmarked it!

    – Rohan Chaubey.

    • Hey Rohan :)

      I’m really sorry to hear about the incident! But such things do end up teaching us how to face adversity :) and haha if the Tech Bloggers get scared then this is the perfect post to get them back on their feet :) Thank you for being such a great pillar of support :)


  12. simplyilka


    Hi Nik!

    Thank you for a great infographic. These are all examples of great minds who were criticized at their times because their thoughts were too uncomfortable to people. Good they had enough self esteem to stick to their way. And now we can learn from them to stick to our ways – no matter what :-)

  13. Harleena Singh (@harleenas)

    Harleena Singh (@harleenas)

    Hi Nik,

    SO sorry for hopping in late, just been a little overwhelming as we are planning new things for the ABC, which you’d soon get to know. But good to be here finally :)

    Loved the infographic and you are getting so good at making these now! And you know how much I love quotes, so this one would surely be pinned and shared in a while. Rumi, Gandhi, and all the others – words of wisdom indeed.

    You are right about self esteem, and I think when we have our down moments, the things that lift us up are very much all of these, isn’t it? Believe in yourself…that’s just what keeps me going, and I know the low moments are a passing phase.

    Thanks for sharing and good to see all the Ahaians here – don’t they rock!? Have a nice week ahead :)

    • Hi Harleena!

      Yup , AHAians rock! 😀 Thank you for your compliments :) I started thinking of the infographic when I saw the benefits of tea and coffee post on AHA now! Thanks for providing the inspiration and for your constant support :) I know how busy you guys have been with the revamp of the AHA now concept! Good Luck and looking forward to seeing the changes soon :)


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